Folinazzo

I stumbled across this poem I wrote on September 22, 1997. I was 19 years old and clearly dealing with an issue or two about a guy. It’s not Poet Laureate-worthy, but I remember being really proud of it back then. It’s obviously sarcastic (as you can tell by the title) but brutally honest at the same time. I remember it being very important that I write it all in lowercase letters.
Perhaps I was channeling E. E. Cummings, I don’t know.
____

don’t tell me how i’m feeling
don’t say you understand
give me a little credit
so sorry i’m not a man

i apologize deeply for my emotions
and the body in which they’re held
i strive to be perfect like you
but obviously my attempts have failed

i’m sorry that my jokes
are not as funny as your face
and i’m sorry that i’m lagging
so far behind in this race

i’m sorry i’m not as gorgeous
as all your friends’ girlfriends’
but i always thought it was substance
what’s inside that makes a difference

i’m sorry that i’ve been a disappointment
i didn’t measure up to your expectations
but i refuse to be degraded
and i’m sick of our confrontations

so i’m doing you a favor
i’m sure you’ll like it this way
i’m leaving you for good now
though i should’ve left yesterday

so sorry if i’ve hurt your ego
i’ve noticed your head has gotten bigger
but i’m walking away happily
running from you with vigor

don’t bother saying sorry
that has always been my job
don’t tell me you’ll change
you’ll always be a slob

i’ve made my decision
and it’s the best one as of yet
i won’t be missing you at all
not one minute, one second, will i fret

well i said what i had to say
and i’m already gone, you see
i pray you meet your match
and she treats you like you treated me

Copyright ©2006 Felicia Michele Folinazzo

Some may remember that two years ago I tried out for the trivia game show, Jeopardy! I did not make it past the first round back then so I thought I’d give it another go. The process is a bit different now: potential contestants may register on the show’s website to take a 50-question online test, similar to the one I took two years ago. Well, I just finished this online test and I do not have a good feeling about it. Unfortunately, there is no way to find out what my score is or if I even “passed”. From the show’s website: “The only way you will know if you passed the test is if you are contacted by a member of the JEOPARDY! contestant department.” I guess I will just wait and see…

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